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Confidence Isn’t “They Will Like Me” It’s “I’ll Be Fine If They Don’t”

Confidence is not about being liked; instead, it’s about being fine even when other people do not like or agree with what you are doing.

This is a popular meme that did rounds a while back, and it couldn’t be any more accurate. Contrary to popular belief, confidence is not about what other people think about you but what you think about yourself. 

Generally, having self-confidence is believing in your skills and abilities and not doubting the good things that people say about you. This means that you genuinely believe yourself, trust your ability to succeed, and have a positive perception of yourself. 

It is true that having little or no confidence can hinder you from achieving your dreams and seizing opportunities, whether in work, school, or life in general. Believe it or not, authentic confidence can be recognized by your body language and the pride in which you describe your passion and other paramount things in your life. 

This, therefore, eliminates the belief that confidence is what others think of you. More often than not, we are caught up in the web of trying to please people. In such instances, confidence is measured by how much people like you or not. Having low self-esteem can make you feel unloved, inferior, submissive, full of self-doubt, and easily prone to criticism. 

In fact, low self-confidence is majorly about giving considerations to what others think about you and how you will respond to them. When you don’t love yourself first, chances of feeling like a complete mess, especially when you don’t do so great, are very high. 

But when you know that confidence is about loving yourself first, you will have an easier time getting through the great, the good, the bad, and the painful experiences in life. For this reason, you will be fine even if people don’t like you or appreciate your capabilities. Real confidence does not mean that you will be right all the time; instead, it means that you won’t be afraid to be wrong. 

Tips to be More Confident

The best thing about confidence is that it is a skill that can be practiced. Here’s how:

  • Establish a confident mindset- One way to exude confidence is to believe that you are capable. Build a confident mindset of thinking “I can” rather than “I can’t.” 
  • Get rid of self-doubt- as stated earlier, low confidence can make you feel a sense of self-doubt. It is the opposite of confidence as it makes one feel inferior and unworthy.
  • Be authentic- While it’s important to act confident and believe that you are confident, this does not mean that you should fake. Learn to embrace your quirks and dare to be the real you and let others accept you for who you are. 
  • Compare yourself benevolently- It is natural for people to themselves with others. However, it is wrong when it negatively affects how you perceive yourself. 

Conclusion

Have a positive perception of yourself, and you won’t care much about what others think of you. Nonetheless, it is crucial to strike a balance between too much confidence and too little confidence. You don’t want to have too little confidence to make you feel inferior or too confident to make you seem cocky.

image credit: Insperity